A beautiful work of public art at the Albany Bulb.
Today I legally married my wonderful husband Ray. I said these vows to him four years ago in our commitment ceremony, and said them today in front of witnesses and a government official. I’m sharing them here because, while they are deeply personal, I think they embody what I believe is the basis for a great relationship. I’m happy to say that in the four years since I first said these vows, I have lived up to every word. May it always be so. Dear readers, this is the type of relationship I wish for you.
The Vows
Ray, long ago I knew you as a friend, and we built a relationship based on trust and respect. Seven years ago my life changed forever when I fell in love with you. That night, I saw into your soul and saw the truth of who you are. To my great wonder, I felt pure, untainted, unrestricted, all-encompassing, unconditional love from you, and I knew that I had finally found the one I’d been searching for.
One thing that made all this possible is the maturity we each gained while we were apart. We each realized that in order to be loved for who we are, we needed to first come to understand ourselves completely, and then love ourselves enough to be willing to be known. This takes both great diligence and great courage. We both stepped into the unflinching light of truth together, have seen inside each other in ways I’d never even imagined possible, and have built a relationship based on the most complete self-sharing.
These things I promise you:
- To love you for who you are and treat you with honor and respect
- To always be open, truthful and authentic with you
- To grow along with you, and embrace the inevitable changes and surprises life brings us
- To support you in your efforts to be the person you want to be, have the life you want to have, and fulfill your dreams
- To make sure you get everything you need to be completely happy and satisfied with our relationship
- To communicate promptly, directly, clearly, and kindly
- To be thankful and appreciative for you, not taking your kindness, generosity, and easy-going nature for granted
- To encourage you to live a healthy, balanced, well adjusted life, and encourage you to have your health needs, both mental and physical, addressed in a timely manner
- To hold myself to the highest standards of fairness in our relationship
- To do my best to be happy, healthy, attractive, kind, supportive, caring, giving, sensitive, loving, and fun to be with
- To love, support, enjoy, and comfort you through the best and worst of times, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health
It is with great joy that I choose you as the person with whom I will spend the rest of my life. I love you with everything I am, wholly and completely. Everything is better when we are together and my deepest hope and wish is to be with you always.
I, Liz, take you, Ray, to be my husband. I know who you are, I love you, and I want to keep you.
Things I've Learned 